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About Literature / Hobbyist Core Member True EmotionFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
6 Month Core Membership
Statistics 316 Deviations 1,956 Comments 17,199 Pageviews


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    In 2009, I discovered, with the help of a friend, that I could write. It started out as a hobby, but eventually became a powerful coping skill for me during my many bouts of depression.
    Recently, there was a concern about a poem I had written called "The Gun," (now taken down), which called into question my ability to work as a nurse. Another employee, who remains unidentified, reported to my boss that I was suicidal. Following this report, I was called into my boss's office to talk about the report, and also was required to meet with an EAP counselor to clear me for work.
    First let me say that I appreciate the thought and concern behind the gesture of telling someone. I work in psych, and I walk among suicidal patients every single day. I know the symptoms. I know the signs. People are my job. It's what I do, and I love it, because I understand where they are coming from. I value life, and I've lost a few patients, who continue to be painful reminders that I should indeed strive to stay alive.
    However, DeviantArt was my safe place. It is one of the few places I could go to just be me. Words are my constant love affair. I marvel at their strength and power, and their ability to be as loud as a thunderstorm, or as peaceful as a quiet breeze.
    This place no longer feels safe for me, not with attentions from a silent bystander.
I'll keep this account open until my membership ends, but I will no longer be posting from it.
    Thank you for making me welcome here. Acceptance is a small, quiet room, it's been said. DeviantArt, though a large, worldwide community, has indeed been my small, quiet room. God bless you, and take care.

Steep me in happiness, make me believe in perfection where there is none.
Hold me in your dreams, for that is the only place you'll find me.

I'm so cold.

The only warmth I feel is when you're holding me.
But let me go, and I know nothing of my desire.

I've tried to die, and even cheated the reaper of his due more than a few times.
The guards remain high, laughing at me

Laughing at you.

I beg for deliverance in a world where the answers make no difference when I've already decided your future.

It's dark and late now.
Listen to me when I tell you to run.

And don't look back.
As I stroke her hair, I try to ignore the voices
coming from the fan blades.
Another sign, another symptom,
Always someone or something asking me to
Pay attention, and then promptly
Running away when I look up.

No one stays forever.
Everyone wants something from me.
Even the voices in my head.

Life twists and turns like her
Golden strands and I wish for once
It could all be as beautiful as her.
I've shed enough tears today
And I will shed more tomorrow,
Rain drops that sting like razor blades
And threaten even the best parts of me.

The future is brighter.
This I know.
It lies in dark brown eyes and
Hardwood, the scents of which
Complete me, all the while competing for my attention.

I love her.
I wish my body loved me as much,
And promised me the life that she did.
There was a time when I was innocent
But I barely remember it.
Hands now ache with memories
That are soon to be lost.

I tasted love and I forgot his name;
All the things I swore I'd never let go of
Are now buried in the pain of an
Anxious-ridden heart.

I won't settle again.
I'll pick up the pieces with arthritic fingers
And a limp that keeps reminding me
Of who I never wanted to be.

Hold me in your arms, my love,
And cripple me gently with a kiss
That gives me hope for better days.

I love you.
I have loved selfishly but
It was all with the good intentions
That may lead to me burn.

But I don't care.
Because you are my sunshine,
And I your rain.
Every drop that falls will fall on us,
Washing away the last bit of innocence.

I used to be innocent.
Lost but now found.

These hands will never let go.
I'll never let go.
132 deviations


True Emotion
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: North Carolina
deviantWEAR sizing preference: S/M
Favourite genre of music: Indie/alternative
Favourite style of art: b/w photography
Operating System: Windows 8
Wallpaper of choice: I hate wallpaper! Let's go for paint!
Skin of choice: yours
Favourite cartoon character: A pup named Scooby Doo
Personal Quote: "Quod me nutrit me destruit" That which nourishes me also destroys me.




Add a Comment:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2015
Thanks for collecting 'unparalleled', Kiddo. :)
KiddosPoet Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. Your work is worth collecting.
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2015
WordlessJoe Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015
You"re very kind to support my feeble rhymes.  Thanks for the fave!
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015
Thank you for faving my newest. :)
KiddosPoet Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome Sir. :rose:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2015
Thanks for faving. :iconbowplz:
KiddosPoet Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome, talented young knight. :rose:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2015
Doddering, curmudgeonly old knight, more like. :D
KiddosPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Bet I'm older than you lol.
(1 Reply)
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